


Phantoms

by vixxbitch (expoduck)



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Futurefic, Heartbreak, M/M, sadfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 15:08:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17983436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/expoduck/pseuds/vixxbitch
Summary: Sometimes I can't remember his smile...





	Phantoms

Sometimes I can't remember his smile. That's on the really bad days. I have to go to the drawer where I keep my memories of him and take out the photo album (not the special one he gave me for my birthday, the first birthday for which we were together... I haven't been able to bear looking at that one for years). I take out the photo album and I turn to my favourite photo of his smile.

We'd been together for five years at that point. It's just a random photo, slightly out-of-focus, badly framed. I was following him around the house, taking photos of him, and he was pretending to get annoyed with me, even though he loved having his photo taken, the vain thing. After a while he started chasing me around the house, and we ended up on the bed (as we so often did).

I kept taking photos the whole time, and the last one in the series has him straddling me on the bed, grinning as he tickled me, trying to get me to drop the camera. He looks so happy in that photo, looking down at me, so crazy in love, and that's the way I like to remember him. It breaks my heart every time I look at it.

When I look at him now, he doesn't smile like that. His smile is vague, ill-fitting, like a shirt that's too big. It doesn't quite shine the way it used to, and I know he doesn't feel happy when he wears it. It's just a reaction to my smile, like he's a mirror.

He doesn’t even remember who I am, most days. Sometimes he thinks I'm his uncle Jung-hoon, other times he thinks I'm one of the nursing staff. I visit him every day, even though he won't remember five minutes after I'm gone. I spend most of my days with him, from the opening of visiting hours until the closing. Every day as I'm driving to the home, I wonder if today will be the day the love of my life will finally forget me forever.

Hakyeon doesn't know me today. He asks me my name, and I say, "It's Hongbin," and he looks confused for a moment. Then he says, "My husband's name is Hongbin," he smiles vaguely, then says, "I don't know where he is. He's probably around here somewhere, getting into mischief."

"Baby, it's me," I say. "It's Hongbin."

He frowns, thinking, his eyes searching my face.

"Of course it's you," he says, still looking slightly confused. "I know that."

I know he isn't sure, so I say, "We got married in autumn, at the Dress Garden in Gangnam. You wore a black pinstriped suit with a red azalea in the lapel. I wore plain black, with a matching red rose. The ceremony was in the middle of the day, but I arranged for them to project the night sky during a meteor shower onto the domed ceiling as a surprise for you. I cried as I said my vows and you smiled and held my hand so tight it hurt, but I didn't mind."

He smiles a little and says, "The cars were Rolls Royces."

I smile. Trust him to remember the cars but not the wedding.

"Yeah, they were. Both Phantoms," I say.

He nods slowly, frowning slightly, then looks out the window. I know I'm losing him again.

"I love you, baby," I say. “You’re my shooting star.”

He looks at me for a moment, and stuns me with a brilliant, focused smile.

"I love you too, my Hongbinnie."

The smile fades after a moment and he looks out the window again. I just watch him, my eyes filling with tears. After a couple of minutes, when I've composed myself, I speak again.

"Hakyeon, I..."

He turns to look at me, and the confused expression is back.

"I'm waiting for my husband," he says. "Have you seen him?"


End file.
